CHAPTER 5
HELPING US LEAVE CONNECTICUT
Our good-byes in November 1990 were sincere and sad but yet everyone seemed to understand that we had an excitement to our move. We were honored at several public events, invited to friends and neighbors for dinner, featured in the local newspaper more than once and not one day passed without a word or two of encouragement from townspeople either in person, a phone call or a visit.
Local acquaintances were so thoughtful and every letter seemed to have a special message for us. Linda wrote:
“ I just heard that you were moving. This town will suffer a great loss. Between AFS, AHM, Town Hall and Gilead School, and I’m sure there must be many more organizations that I’m not even aware of, you certainly be missed. I just wanted to let you know that you are a person that I’ve always admired and looked up to. Good luck in your new venture, and I’m sure you’ll settle in just fine. Also, I doubt that you’ll remember this, but you wrote me a note when David was in my Bible School Class years ago and that note meant so much to me. Thank you.”
Another letter from friends also touched our hearts. This one from Carol and Dave: “It’s always hard to say good-bye to two people you admire and wish you had known a little better so I thought a note would be easiest. We wish you both the very best in your new home. I’m sure you realize that you will be missed here in Hebron. It’s hard to imagine that your home will be somewhere else. May God bless you both.”
Every blessing we received was a great gift; we thrived on such support and, as moving day neared, each day we became more excited about new adventures. Comments like these made us reflect on our lives and give thought to what other opportunities might await us elsewhere.
Because my tax office was in the town hall and we were in the process of offering our property for sale to the town of Hebron, I was generating a lot of conversation and was the center of more attention than usual. It became a very good idea for us to move out of town while public negotiating of our property was going on. The tax collector’s job had been great for me…. I like the job, working in town and being part of the community. My tax assistant, Pat, was an especially gifted employee and she wrote:
“ I can’t tell you how much I admire your courage, your confidence, your ability to face life head on, with a smile. It is said that the most prayerful life is the one most actively lived. I understand that better for knowing you. Letting go is a process that is seldom easy for me. But, I’ve learned that hanging on to the past deadens us to the joys of the present and the promise of the future. So, I’ll celebrate your new beginning, knowing that it cannot help but bring you the opportunities for growth you desire and the happiness you deserve.”
We resided in a rural, harmonious neighborhood and were so very blessed to have many caring, supportive friends who helped us raise our children into responsible, productive members of society. At the time of our impending move, Cindi was working in Texas and David was in college in North Carolina. As we bid farewell to these dear especially good friends, we realized we were being given a rare opportunity to thank each and every one for the parts they played in our lives.
While dealing with our decision to move, we were receiving “warm fuzzies” from our daughter, Cindi. One of her letters from Texas gave us particular hope:
“I’m so busy I hardly have time to breathe! Work, work, work. I like my job..my roommate situation is going OK. We move soon I’m ready for my own room! I’m always cleaning up after one roommate; it drives me crazy. I’m thinking in our new apartment I’ll have a ‘job jar’ or something (can you believe I want a ‘job jar’??). I find myself acting the way you do more—I don’t know how you did it—I know you can’t believe this is your daughter writing. I just wish I knew everything then that I do now. Maybe I would have appreciated you both more. Don’t you wish your kids could face the real world first?—then live at home!! As I talk to my clients, I always thank my lucky stars that I have a family like mine. I want to thank you for everything! Can’t say enough—we sure went through some hard times—raising me wasn’t easy, I know! But I think you’d be proud of me. I know I’m pretty proud of myself (the kid who got D’s in high school and then had to work extra hard to get a Bachelors degree in 4 years). Also, I’m thinking of going back to school….David sounds so happy. I’m glad we are as close as were are. I really could never ask for a better little (BIG!) brother. Guess I am a little homesick; I try not to think about it….”
Son, David, was at Louisburg Junior College in North Carolina while we were in the throes of big decisions. He was “tuned in” to our possibilities and David wrote us several letters in September 1990. Excerpts from David’s letters, in his own caring style, indicate his support and provided us with encouragement.
“ Well, Dad, I hope you definitely get your Travelers Package” and find a job in Burlington. I hope everything goes well in Hebron concerning the sale of the house…how is everyone in Hebron? ‘Seems like you have everything under control. I wonder if you miss me a little bit… I really miss home sometimes, but I will get over it…. Hey, Dad, sounds great if you like Burlington because my roommate is from Mebane. Some of my other friends live in Burlington, too. I hope everything goes well with Travelers because I want you to get what you deserve…PS I miss you both very much…Dad, I hope you got you pension package. It sure would nice to move to Burlington. I could get rides home. How is Hebron and your job, Mom?…It’s good to hear that Dad got what he wanted from Travelers…I love you and miss you.”
Bill does not make changes easily but even he will admit that he more than survived this whole process of leaving Travelers and moving to North Carolina. He did a tremendous amount of planning and “doing his homework” about future employment possibilities. And he did it in his own style: that of personal investigation, one-on-one conversation, and many computer pages of financial choices, options and ideas. Bill became enthusiastic about new possibilities and with this excitement a natural relinquishment of ownership of Travelers. His somewhat orchestrated job elimination went along just as he planned until that fateful day when he was told to pack up his desk and head home; he will always lament that he never had a “retirement party” at Travelers.
I overheard Bill say to a new friend on the day after we had relocated to North Carolina: “I’m having more difficulty adjusting to new things and this move but my wife, Mary, I think she adjusted as we drove out of the driveway in Connecticut!”
Even our very dearest friend, Mrs. Porter, understood. Mrs. Porter had been my mother’s best friend, was a retired school teacher, and never had any children of her own. She composed words of farewell (that were delivered by Joanne because Mrs. Porter was in a rest home) at our “last Sunday as active members of First Congregational Church of Hebron:
“To attempt to enumerate all Bill and Mary have done for this church is impossible. They have served out of love for God, this church and its people. We shall all miss them when they leave at Thanksgiving. It will be a particularly personal loss for me as Mary has been like a daughter, Bill my dear friend and Cindi and David my “grandchildren”. But “The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things: of shoes-and ships-and sealing wax- of cabbages and Kings…” those many things include a new job for Bill and new challenges for Mary. God’s speed and love.”
I believe the ANGELS gave us courage, provided the strength and created the vision for us to make such an outrageous (it seemed) change in our lives. Many doors of opportunity opened suddenly for us and the ANGELS helped us to decide to walk through those doors.
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